The signs.

Life went on as usual after that casual encounter. As it was nearing Christmas, I was busy. Everyday, there are activities going around to fill your day. I went out to dinner with friends almost every night. I accepted invitations to run a few rounds at a local university campus. I still went to the gym regularly, although I didn't see him in the days that went by. He wasn't a regular of that gym after all.

It has been ten days since that casual encounter. With everything going on around, I got a bit tired and needed to relax. So I went to a spa with a friend. After the massage, I went home and slept. The following morning, I woke up not feeling well. I'm having fever, and my body is aching all over. Had I stretched my body too much? I have been running three consecutive days before that, and been going to the gym regularly. I must be tired, and I feel tired. So I rested the whole day, hoping that I'd feel better in the afternoon. But the fever didn't go away.

I started taking ibuprofen and paracetamol for the the muscle pain and fever, but they didn't seem to work. The fever would go away for a while and come back again, and my muscles are sore. When my lymph nodes began to swell, I knew something was not right. I have an infection.

Five straight days I had non-stop fever, aching muscle, diarrhoea, sore throat and swollen lymph nodes. I've never been this sick before, and at the back of my mind I look back at that bare encounter and ask myself, could this be it?

After the fever has subsided I went to the doctor for a checkup. I wanted to know what was happening to me. Dengue fever was in season, and I was actually hoping that it's what I have. After a series of tests, my doctor couldn't tell. She just told me it could be flu that will go away on its own.

I did get better as the days passed. My muscles weren't sore anymore, and I had no more fever, but my lymph nodes were still swollen. I also developed rashes that looked like insect bites and when I showed it to my doctor, she said it's not how Dengue fever rashes looked like.

Since the doctor couldn't tell what my illness was, I decided to get an HIV test. I had it at the Manila Social Hygiene Clinic in Quiricada St., Manila, just in front of the San Lazaro Hospital. This isn't my first time to get tested so I wasn't afraid. I already knew the procedure and I knew what to expect. I knew that there will be a pre-extraction counselling, and post-extraction counselling. The doctor who talked to me was very motherly and she talked to me very casually. She made sure I felt comfortable. I talked about the casual encounter just a few weeks ago, and the illness I had after. She told me that the result might not be accurate this early after the last encounter, and she suggested I have another test after a three-month window period should I test negative.

After the pre-counselling session, she referred me to the lab to get my blood extracted. The lab was just one level below the counselling room, and it was over within a minute. So I went back to the counselling area and waited there. After fifteen minutes, the doctor called me and showed me the result: non-reactive.

There was a sigh of relief. But I knew I couldn't be certain until I had another test after the three month window period has passed.

On the way home, I called him up. I told him about the test and encouraged him to take it as well. He didn't take my suggestion well. He said, I was non-reactive, so why should he take it? He's not feeling sick after all.

Being the diplomatic person I was, I didn't force him to do it. So I went home, still uncertain, with so many questions in mind. But if there is one thing that I was certain of that day, I was certain that I was not HIV-positive, not yet.