A year later.

It just dawned to me that yesterday was exactly 1 year after the sex that gave me HIV. I wonder how the guy was? This may sound weird, but I hope he's still alive.

So how am I doing a year after that crazy drunken sex? Mostly in bed, suffering from anemia. At this time last year I was buffed up, I can lift more than my body weight on a bench press. I miss those days. Now I can hardly climb the stairs without feeling light-headed.

It's mind-boggling how one night of seemingly casual fun can greatly alter one's life. It never crossed my mind that night that a year later, I'd end up like this.

Was there regret? I don't know. It's not like regretting any can change things back to the way they were. But were there lessons learned? A lot.

Is this a curse for giving in to fleshly temptation? Or is this a blessing in the form of lessons learned and renewed appreciation of life? I still don't have the answers. At the moment I am still trying to make out what happened to me the past year. I am still uncertain of my future. The optimist in me says everything will be ok, I'll be fine and things will be back to normal. The other side of me says yeah right.

I wonder what will happen to me next year? Where will I be? Will I be ok? Will I still be alive? Will I be cured? Will I have a partner? Will my family and friends know about me? Will I be happy? Or miserable?

There's an infinite number of possibilities. But as the saying goes, who you are in the future depends on the choices you make today. I made a poor choice a year ago, but it's not too late to make good choices for next year and the years to come.