It's been almost a month since J and I broke up. I tried to act cool about it, and truth is, we still see each other once in a while and remain friends. But when you go home to an empty apartment and sleep alone in a queen-sized bed, the loneliness is magnified to become as big as the void.
The past few weeks I've done nothing more than eat and sleep. Nothing seem to interest me. I meet a few people out, but nothing I do and no one I meet seem able to fill the emptiness.
S has been keeping me company ever since. We're like pseudo-partners. He's been more of a partner to me than J ever has, but at the same time, he is a partner I can never truly have. Now, he is far away. And for some reason he is not returning my texts. I confide everything to him, and now that he's nowhere near, I feel alone.
I told myself that I was given a second chance at life and I should not live it in anger or hate or sadness or fear or envy. I'm not angry, nor hateful, nor fearful, nor envious. But how how do you take away sadness?
Gaaahd, I just wanna get through this.
