No it's not a party. You're invited to share what you think!
I realized many people share the same concerns and have more or less the same questions in mind. So why not share what you have in mind and I'll post it in my blog for everyone to read!
If you have any questions, opinion, suggestion, or a story to tell, you can send them to me through my email address:
hivplus4plus@gmail.com
I will publish your email and my response by default, but should you wish your question not be published, please tell me ahead. Emails will be published anonymously.
So what are you waiting for? Shoot that email! :)
Monday, October 29, 2012
Can I exercise?
I'm bored. I've been stuck at home, in the hospital and back home for more than three weeks now. I'm a very active person and I'm itching to do something physical.
So I texted my doctor: Can I go back to the gym to do some light exercises? His answer, as expected, was a no. He also said I need a follow-up CBC.
...
Yes, doc!
So I texted my doctor: Can I go back to the gym to do some light exercises? His answer, as expected, was a no. He also said I need a follow-up CBC.
...
Yes, doc!
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Going home.
After finishing my blood transfusion on Thursday evening, I had a my blood extracted again on Friday morning for a few tests which include CBC. From 67, my hemoglobin increased to 97. Still way below the normal range, but enough for me to regain some color. I feel stronger as well.
The doctor gave me calcium gluconate intravenously around mid-day to counter the effect of preservatives added to the blood I received. She told me and my parents that they are still studying the lab results and trying to find out the next steps to take. She did mention that a bone marrow biopsy is a possible last resort. So I guess I have to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for that.
The rest of the day was pretty much another waiting game. My parents called for my youngest brother to accompany me so that they can go home.
My youngest brother arrived around 8pm. He got lost. Haha. My parents were already about to leave when the nurse stepped in and told us I'm ready to be discharged in the morning. Yey!
She took away my IV fluid, and after pulling off the needle, I was amazed after I saw how big it was. No wonder they had a hard time looking for a suitable vein the other night!
It's Saturday morning. Today, we need to get hospital clearances signed off. And pay the bills. My brother will take care of that but he's still sleeping.
After spending five evenings at RITM. I'm finally going home. But I won't be gone for long -- I'll be here again next week for another checkup.
The doctor gave me calcium gluconate intravenously around mid-day to counter the effect of preservatives added to the blood I received. She told me and my parents that they are still studying the lab results and trying to find out the next steps to take. She did mention that a bone marrow biopsy is a possible last resort. So I guess I have to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for that.
The rest of the day was pretty much another waiting game. My parents called for my youngest brother to accompany me so that they can go home.
My youngest brother arrived around 8pm. He got lost. Haha. My parents were already about to leave when the nurse stepped in and told us I'm ready to be discharged in the morning. Yey!
She took away my IV fluid, and after pulling off the needle, I was amazed after I saw how big it was. No wonder they had a hard time looking for a suitable vein the other night!
It's Saturday morning. Today, we need to get hospital clearances signed off. And pay the bills. My brother will take care of that but he's still sleeping.
After spending five evenings at RITM. I'm finally going home. But I won't be gone for long -- I'll be here again next week for another checkup.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Pumping new life into the bloodstream.
It was early morning Wednesday when I was waken by the nurse to tell me that the blood matching was completed and that the blood is ready for pickup. Again, he told us to hurry because the cut-off is at 12 noon.
So I called my parents up, who at that time were already preparing to go to the hospital, and told them the news. By 10am my parents were here. After a few minutes of freshening up, my dad picked up the request from the medical lab and went straight to DOH Tayuman. My mom stayed behind.
While my mom and I were talking, a visitor entered the room and caught me by surprise. Let's call him M. He is a friend I've been talking to online for quite a while now, and a fellow RITM patient. I was surprised because I completely forgot he was visiting. After saying hi's and hello's, M handed me a box of cranberry juice. And then said, "Magpapa-flu vaccine lang ako sa baba." My mom overheard. I panicked, I'll be busted. She asked my if the guy was a friend from college, I told her he was a friend visiting because he lives nearby. And my mom asked no more.
(To M, if you're reading this, I'm very sorry if I was not a very good host to you... I'll make it up to you when I'm better. And thank you very much for the cranberry juice!)
I immediately texted S, my dear friend who was also confined at RITM also for anemia (know more about S in my blog entry "False alarm!"). He was also at RITM for a checkup and asked him not to visit me while my parents were with me. Minutes after, someone knocked at the door, and guess who it was? Handsome S, wearing a face mask.
I introduced him to my mom and this time, I acted coolly. We had a few minutes of chit chat when S looked at his phone and told me, "Ngayon ko lang nabasa." Haha! He immediately excused himself.
(To S, if you're reading this, thank you for the visit. It's a pleasure as always, I'll see you paglabas ko dito.)
After S has left, my mom asked if he was working here. I told him no, he's just a visitor. I know something is already running through my mom's head, and I don't think she's buying my alibis anymore.
Around 1pm, my younger brother arrived. He is a registered nurse, albeit non-practicing. He will accompany me for the next two evenings.
At 2:30pm, my dad arrived with the blood, three bags in total, and handed them over to the medical lab. The medical lab will have to prepare the blood first before it can be transfused to me, and I was told it can take a while.
At around 5:30pm, my parents decided to leave. While they were preparing to leave, S popped his head into the room to say goodbye. After he left, my dad said, "Bakit sya naka-mask? May sakit ba sya?" All these naive questions are really making me feel uneasy. If this continues, I'll be busted soon. I told him this is an infectious disease hospital, baka nag-iingat lang.
My parents left a while after and I was left with my brother, who was obviously bored. He only had my laptop to keep him company. Good thing Sun Wireless Broadband was fast in this area. He was streaming movies after movies, occasionally stopping to buy medical supplies needed for my blood transfusion.
At around 12 midnight, I was informed that the blood was ready for transfusion. At around 1am, my nightmare started. They couldn't find a suitable vein to to stick the IV needle. They said I was dehydrated. Three different nurses, five unsuccessful attempts. Both my hands were full of cotton balls, and after a quick glance at the mirror, I swear I looked as pale as a ghost.
It was Doc Mark who successfully stuck a the needle in on the 6th attempt. I thanked him big time.
It was 4am on Thursday when blood started pumping through my veins. After sixteen hours, and three bags of blood, my lips were rosy again.
So I called my parents up, who at that time were already preparing to go to the hospital, and told them the news. By 10am my parents were here. After a few minutes of freshening up, my dad picked up the request from the medical lab and went straight to DOH Tayuman. My mom stayed behind.
While my mom and I were talking, a visitor entered the room and caught me by surprise. Let's call him M. He is a friend I've been talking to online for quite a while now, and a fellow RITM patient. I was surprised because I completely forgot he was visiting. After saying hi's and hello's, M handed me a box of cranberry juice. And then said, "Magpapa-flu vaccine lang ako sa baba." My mom overheard. I panicked, I'll be busted. She asked my if the guy was a friend from college, I told her he was a friend visiting because he lives nearby. And my mom asked no more.
(To M, if you're reading this, I'm very sorry if I was not a very good host to you... I'll make it up to you when I'm better. And thank you very much for the cranberry juice!)
I immediately texted S, my dear friend who was also confined at RITM also for anemia (know more about S in my blog entry "False alarm!"). He was also at RITM for a checkup and asked him not to visit me while my parents were with me. Minutes after, someone knocked at the door, and guess who it was? Handsome S, wearing a face mask.
I introduced him to my mom and this time, I acted coolly. We had a few minutes of chit chat when S looked at his phone and told me, "Ngayon ko lang nabasa." Haha! He immediately excused himself.
(To S, if you're reading this, thank you for the visit. It's a pleasure as always, I'll see you paglabas ko dito.)
After S has left, my mom asked if he was working here. I told him no, he's just a visitor. I know something is already running through my mom's head, and I don't think she's buying my alibis anymore.
Around 1pm, my younger brother arrived. He is a registered nurse, albeit non-practicing. He will accompany me for the next two evenings.
At 2:30pm, my dad arrived with the blood, three bags in total, and handed them over to the medical lab. The medical lab will have to prepare the blood first before it can be transfused to me, and I was told it can take a while.
At around 5:30pm, my parents decided to leave. While they were preparing to leave, S popped his head into the room to say goodbye. After he left, my dad said, "Bakit sya naka-mask? May sakit ba sya?" All these naive questions are really making me feel uneasy. If this continues, I'll be busted soon. I told him this is an infectious disease hospital, baka nag-iingat lang.
My parents left a while after and I was left with my brother, who was obviously bored. He only had my laptop to keep him company. Good thing Sun Wireless Broadband was fast in this area. He was streaming movies after movies, occasionally stopping to buy medical supplies needed for my blood transfusion.
At around 12 midnight, I was informed that the blood was ready for transfusion. At around 1am, my nightmare started. They couldn't find a suitable vein to to stick the IV needle. They said I was dehydrated. Three different nurses, five unsuccessful attempts. Both my hands were full of cotton balls, and after a quick glance at the mirror, I swear I looked as pale as a ghost.
It was Doc Mark who successfully stuck a the needle in on the 6th attempt. I thanked him big time.
It was 4am on Thursday when blood started pumping through my veins. After sixteen hours, and three bags of blood, my lips were rosy again.
The blood(y) process.
I had the opportunity to ask the lab technician about the process of getting replacement blood while she was extracting blood samples from me on Tuesday morning.
She told me that after my blood is taken, it will be blood-typed and the staff at the medical lab will look for a suitable blood for me from various sources. I asked if I still need to look for a donor to replace the blood, she said no. She told me that there is an agreement with the bloodbank at DOH and RITM that replacement blood for HIV patients will be for free, and there is no need to replace them. Cool, another freebi! She said all we need to do is to wait for the lab to finish blood typing and if a suitable blood is available at the bloodbank, they will make a request and ask my parents to pick blood 'segments' from DOH Tayuman. The blood segments are basically a sample of the replacement blood stored in the bloodbank and it needs to be matched with my own blood before the entire bag is taken. So although the blood is free, acquiring it is tedious because my parents will have to make two trips from Alabang to Tayuman.
I explained this to my parents, and although free blood is more than welcome, it did prompt another question. Why is my blood free, while other patients they talked to at the hospital told them they bought theirs? I tried to evade the question by saying I don't know.
It's another waiting game on Tuesday afternoon and my parents got bored, so they left and went to nearby Festval Mall for a stroll. I can't blame them, there was nothing to do in my room, and we didn't know when the request will be available.
At 6pm, the nurse informed me that the lab has found a suitable blood for me, and my parents need to pick it up as soon as possible, before 10pm. I quickly called my parents and they were back in half an hour. After my dad got the request, I told him that a nurse informed me we can use the ambulance to transport the blood segment if the ambulance and a driver is available. So my dad asked the nurse station if it was possible. Out of good fortune, the ambulance was available and they agreed to help us transport the segments provided we fill the tank.
At 7:30pm, the ambulance left the hospital with my parents to get the blood segments at DOH in Tayuman. The ambulance was back before midnight, without my parents though. They decided to head back home and return the following morning. The blood segments were handed over to the medical lab to confirm if it is a match for me, and I will be informed as soon as possible if it is.
Meanwhile, I was transferred to a new room -- a much smaller room, with a single bed, with electric fan and its own comfort room.
Again, I slept alone.
(To be continued.)
She told me that after my blood is taken, it will be blood-typed and the staff at the medical lab will look for a suitable blood for me from various sources. I asked if I still need to look for a donor to replace the blood, she said no. She told me that there is an agreement with the bloodbank at DOH and RITM that replacement blood for HIV patients will be for free, and there is no need to replace them. Cool, another freebi! She said all we need to do is to wait for the lab to finish blood typing and if a suitable blood is available at the bloodbank, they will make a request and ask my parents to pick blood 'segments' from DOH Tayuman. The blood segments are basically a sample of the replacement blood stored in the bloodbank and it needs to be matched with my own blood before the entire bag is taken. So although the blood is free, acquiring it is tedious because my parents will have to make two trips from Alabang to Tayuman.
I explained this to my parents, and although free blood is more than welcome, it did prompt another question. Why is my blood free, while other patients they talked to at the hospital told them they bought theirs? I tried to evade the question by saying I don't know.
It's another waiting game on Tuesday afternoon and my parents got bored, so they left and went to nearby Festval Mall for a stroll. I can't blame them, there was nothing to do in my room, and we didn't know when the request will be available.
At 6pm, the nurse informed me that the lab has found a suitable blood for me, and my parents need to pick it up as soon as possible, before 10pm. I quickly called my parents and they were back in half an hour. After my dad got the request, I told him that a nurse informed me we can use the ambulance to transport the blood segment if the ambulance and a driver is available. So my dad asked the nurse station if it was possible. Out of good fortune, the ambulance was available and they agreed to help us transport the segments provided we fill the tank.
At 7:30pm, the ambulance left the hospital with my parents to get the blood segments at DOH in Tayuman. The ambulance was back before midnight, without my parents though. They decided to head back home and return the following morning. The blood segments were handed over to the medical lab to confirm if it is a match for me, and I will be informed as soon as possible if it is.
Meanwhile, I was transferred to a new room -- a much smaller room, with a single bed, with electric fan and its own comfort room.
Again, I slept alone.
(To be continued.)
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Waiting for blood.
So here I am at RITM confined since Monday evening. It's now Wednesday afternoon. Allow me to tell you about my experiences so far.
The doctor told me I need to get admitted for blood transfusion around 5pm on Monday. Since I was half-expecting confinement, I already have an overnight bag with me and said ok.
I called my parents and told them that this time, I really have to undergo blood transfusion. But I told them there's no need to go to the hospital that night because there wasn't much to do, and the doctor said she won't put me on IV fluids yet.
So before I actually got admitted, I went to Festival Mall to buy myself some food to eat and toiletries. During my trip, a huge dilemma dawned upon me once more: is it time to tell my parents of my condition? I don't want to tell them because I don't want them to worry, and I didn't want to disappoint them. I want to tell them when I'm strong and normal, not when I'm confined at the hospital. But how can I hide it? The burden was so much, for the first time since finding out about my status, tears fell from my eyes. I felt stupid because tears were falling while I was doing my grocery, while paying at the cashier, ordering food and while having dinner. I guess I wasn't that strong after all.
So after doing my grocery, I went back to RITM. I was interviewed by the pretty doctor, Doc Sheena, who was very cool, and filled out all the forms needed for my admission. Unfortunately that night there was a scarcity of rooms, so they had to put me in a room that looks like it's never been used in a while, with no electric fan and no toilet. But I didn't complain because at least I was alone in the room.
I spent the evening alone. I wasn't able to sleep very well because of the heat, and they won't allow me to turn off the lights.
So far the only tests done with me are ECG and XRay, which were done before I got into the ward. I was instructed to fast so that they can extract blood in the morning and do some more tests.
At 7am, breakfast arrived: 1 piece of hotdog and a cup of rice, with no spoons nor forks. But I couldn't eat my breakfast yet because I'm fasting.
At 8am, it was time to take my ARVs, but I couldn't because my blood hasn't been extracted yet. So I followed up with the nurse. At 8:30am, staff from the clinical lab arrived and took my blood. Soon after the blood was taken, I took my anti-tb medication, isoniazid. After 30mins, I took my breakfast, barehanded, which I found homey, and took my ARVs afterwards. I took my ARVs late for about an hour.
Nothing much happened the entire morning. Around lunch time, a poz friend I met online visited me. He was at RITM for consultation also. After lunch my parents arrived, so my friend had to leave.
The first question my mom popped was, "Anak, paano ka ba nakarating sa pagkalayo-layong ospital na 'to?"
I laughed. Haha. But deep inside, I was uneasy. I told her this is the only public hospital in Metro Manila that is not congested and cheap. I'm not sure if she bought my alibi, but she never asked me again. Whew.
(To be continued.)
The doctor told me I need to get admitted for blood transfusion around 5pm on Monday. Since I was half-expecting confinement, I already have an overnight bag with me and said ok.
I called my parents and told them that this time, I really have to undergo blood transfusion. But I told them there's no need to go to the hospital that night because there wasn't much to do, and the doctor said she won't put me on IV fluids yet.
So before I actually got admitted, I went to Festival Mall to buy myself some food to eat and toiletries. During my trip, a huge dilemma dawned upon me once more: is it time to tell my parents of my condition? I don't want to tell them because I don't want them to worry, and I didn't want to disappoint them. I want to tell them when I'm strong and normal, not when I'm confined at the hospital. But how can I hide it? The burden was so much, for the first time since finding out about my status, tears fell from my eyes. I felt stupid because tears were falling while I was doing my grocery, while paying at the cashier, ordering food and while having dinner. I guess I wasn't that strong after all.
So after doing my grocery, I went back to RITM. I was interviewed by the pretty doctor, Doc Sheena, who was very cool, and filled out all the forms needed for my admission. Unfortunately that night there was a scarcity of rooms, so they had to put me in a room that looks like it's never been used in a while, with no electric fan and no toilet. But I didn't complain because at least I was alone in the room.
I spent the evening alone. I wasn't able to sleep very well because of the heat, and they won't allow me to turn off the lights.
So far the only tests done with me are ECG and XRay, which were done before I got into the ward. I was instructed to fast so that they can extract blood in the morning and do some more tests.
At 7am, breakfast arrived: 1 piece of hotdog and a cup of rice, with no spoons nor forks. But I couldn't eat my breakfast yet because I'm fasting.
At 8am, it was time to take my ARVs, but I couldn't because my blood hasn't been extracted yet. So I followed up with the nurse. At 8:30am, staff from the clinical lab arrived and took my blood. Soon after the blood was taken, I took my anti-tb medication, isoniazid. After 30mins, I took my breakfast, barehanded, which I found homey, and took my ARVs afterwards. I took my ARVs late for about an hour.
Nothing much happened the entire morning. Around lunch time, a poz friend I met online visited me. He was at RITM for consultation also. After lunch my parents arrived, so my friend had to leave.
The first question my mom popped was, "Anak, paano ka ba nakarating sa pagkalayo-layong ospital na 'to?"
I laughed. Haha. But deep inside, I was uneasy. I told her this is the only public hospital in Metro Manila that is not congested and cheap. I'm not sure if she bought my alibi, but she never asked me again. Whew.
(To be continued.)
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Confined.
Yesterday I went back to RITM to check if my hemoglobin count has improved. Sad to say it didn't, and it dropped again to 67. The doctor told me I need to stay in the hospital for a blood transfusion and other tests. Good thing I came prepared, I already have my overnight bag with me.
I'm now confined at RITM. I've had my ecg and xray taken last night, and this morning I had my blood taken for matching. I'm staying in a big room which looks like a ward with many beds, but I'm alone, which is superb. My only complaint is the heat - there's not even an electric fan! But who am I to complain? I'm receiving a virtually free treatment afterall.
The doctors and the nurses are all very nice! I think I'd enjoy my stay here. :)
I'm now confined at RITM. I've had my ecg and xray taken last night, and this morning I had my blood taken for matching. I'm staying in a big room which looks like a ward with many beds, but I'm alone, which is superb. My only complaint is the heat - there's not even an electric fan! But who am I to complain? I'm receiving a virtually free treatment afterall.
The doctors and the nurses are all very nice! I think I'd enjoy my stay here. :)
Saturday, October 20, 2012
My meds and drug-induced anemia.
It's been almost two weeks since I confirmed that I am anemic, and my blood count history shows that it could be drug-induced.
I started taking anti-retroviral (ARV) drugs on July 31, 2012. I started trial on nevirapine (Nevipan) one tablet once a day, and lamivudine + zidovudine (Avacomb) combi twice daily for two weeks. I also started taking isoniazid and cotrimaxazole as prophylaxis for TB and pneumonia, respectively. Before I took the meds, I had a CBC, and my hemoglobin was 140.
After two weeks, I passed the trial period for nevirapine without experiencing the usual side effects. I was happy because most people I talked to were allergic to nevirapine, and I'm glad the first set of meds prescribed to me worked without causing any adverse side effects. So the doctor upped my nevirapine dosage to twice daily, and continued with the rest of my other meds.
After another two weeks, or one month after I started taking meds, I had another CBC. My hemoglobin count was lower at 130, but still ok. The nurse told me that the reason I need to take regular CBCs was to ensure my hemoglobin doesn't drop, because zidovudine is known to cause drug-induced anemia.
Fast forward: October 5, 2012. I went to RITM on an emergency case because I developed blisters on my body. I was also very pale. It's been a little more than two months since I started taking ARV drugs. The night before, I stopped taking my evening dose of nevirapine, because I thought the blisters might have been a side effect of nevirapine. But after seeing the doctors at RITM, I learned that what I had was not an allergic reaction to nevirapine, but herpes zoster, which was possibly caused by a combination of stress, and a weak immune system. Again, I was relieved because I didn't want to change my meds. I was afraid of taking efavirenz, which was the usual replacement for nevirapine.
I also took another CBC that day, and the result was alarming. From 130 just a month ago, my hemoglobin count dropped to 86. The doctor immediately removed zidovudine from my meds and replaced it with tenofivir once daily. He also asked me to take ferrous sulfate help combat anemia.
After 10 days, on October 15, I visited RITM for a checkup on my herpes zoster, which has already dried up, and to take another CBC. As I told in a previous blog entry, my hemoglobin count dropped further to 74. Apparently the effect of zidovudine takes time to wane. All I can do now is to rest, wait, and make sure I eat iron-rich food and take iron supplements to combat the anemia.
I'll be going to RITM again on monday for another CBC. Hopefully I hear good news.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
False alarm!
Yesterday I went back to RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine) for a follow-up consultation on two cases: first is for the shingles I contracted 2 weeks ago, and second is for my anemia. I arrived there at around 8:30AM, early because if I were to consult the dermatologist in the afternoon, I need to finish the CBC and HIV doctor consultation in the morning. That was the plan.
However, there was no dermatologist available yesterday, because all of them were in Boracay attending a conference. (These doctors sure know how to mix business with pleasure! :)
So I was left with consulting the doctor for my anemia. I had my blood taken at around 9am and I had to wait for a while before I could get the result. I saw the doctor at 10am and after showing her the already dried up blisters, she advised me to take vitamin B complex to help repair damaged nerve cells. She couldn't help me with my anemia until the lab results were in, so it meant that I had to see her again after lunch.
While waiting for the results, a good friend and fellow patient arrived. Let's call him S. S was confined in RITM for 7 days the week before, also for anemia. I was supposed to give him a visit the last time I was there, but since I had herpes zoster at that time, I couldn't.
He was there to complete some paper works related to his confinement, as well as to get a copy of his medical records. He will be seeing a hematologist at a different hospital to consult if there is an underlying condition that causes his hemoglobin count to continously drop: even after changing meds from zidovudine to stavudine to tenofivir, and after 20 bags of blood transfusion. I was listening to his story intently, because if worse came to worst, I might be in the same shoes as he is.
S is a very cheerful guy. I admire how he is able to keep a strong and positive disposition despite the uncertainty surrounding his condition. He's such an adorable guy!
Around lunch time, we got the result of my CBC. My hemoglobin count is 74. My previous count was 86. Two months ago, it was 130. How can this be? I was feeling a lot better now than I did the week before, it's been more than a week since I stopped taking zidovudine, and I've been resting the entire week. Why is my hemoglobin count still dropping?
Ate Ellen, the senior nurse at RITM ARG, suggested that I might need to get a blood transfusion asap. I panicked. My family doesn't know about my status. I left the house for a casual checkup, how would they react if I tell them I'm getting a blood transfusion all of a sudden?
A huge dilemma is in front of me: is it time to disclose to my family?
S knew what was running through my mind. During lunch, he told me I needed someone to look after me while I was getting the blood transfusion. For that reason I have to contact my family. But, he told me that there is no need to disclose my status to my family. He told me that RITM staff respect their patient's privacy, and they do not disclose their patient's status to anyone, not even to relatives. During the time he was confined there, his family knows that he was receiving treatment for anemia, and nothing more.
This encouraged me to call my family and tell them I might be getting a blood transfusion. But I told them prematurely. They were already preparing to go to RITM to bring my things, when the doctor came in after the lunch break. He told me that if I was feeling better, and I had no signs of anemia (such as shortness of breath, exhaustion, etc.), then I don't need a blood transfusion. Yet. He told me that I need to do another CBC for the next week and see if my hemoglobin count has improved or not.
So it was a false alarm after all! Of course I was happy, and S and the rest of the RITM staff were happy. But I feel bad for having given my family something to worry about. In the first place, that's the reason why I've kept my condition a secret from them all along: I don't want them to worry about me.
So I called my family and told them not to go to RITM anymore. My mom told me she will put ampalaya and chicken liver in the menu. It seems to me they're relieved that I'm not getting a blood transfusion anymore.
So I went home like nothing happened. Today, I had adobong atay ng manok with kamote sprouts for lunch, and had ginisang ampalaya for dinner.
However, there was no dermatologist available yesterday, because all of them were in Boracay attending a conference. (These doctors sure know how to mix business with pleasure! :)
So I was left with consulting the doctor for my anemia. I had my blood taken at around 9am and I had to wait for a while before I could get the result. I saw the doctor at 10am and after showing her the already dried up blisters, she advised me to take vitamin B complex to help repair damaged nerve cells. She couldn't help me with my anemia until the lab results were in, so it meant that I had to see her again after lunch.
While waiting for the results, a good friend and fellow patient arrived. Let's call him S. S was confined in RITM for 7 days the week before, also for anemia. I was supposed to give him a visit the last time I was there, but since I had herpes zoster at that time, I couldn't.
He was there to complete some paper works related to his confinement, as well as to get a copy of his medical records. He will be seeing a hematologist at a different hospital to consult if there is an underlying condition that causes his hemoglobin count to continously drop: even after changing meds from zidovudine to stavudine to tenofivir, and after 20 bags of blood transfusion. I was listening to his story intently, because if worse came to worst, I might be in the same shoes as he is.
S is a very cheerful guy. I admire how he is able to keep a strong and positive disposition despite the uncertainty surrounding his condition. He's such an adorable guy!
Around lunch time, we got the result of my CBC. My hemoglobin count is 74. My previous count was 86. Two months ago, it was 130. How can this be? I was feeling a lot better now than I did the week before, it's been more than a week since I stopped taking zidovudine, and I've been resting the entire week. Why is my hemoglobin count still dropping?
Ate Ellen, the senior nurse at RITM ARG, suggested that I might need to get a blood transfusion asap. I panicked. My family doesn't know about my status. I left the house for a casual checkup, how would they react if I tell them I'm getting a blood transfusion all of a sudden?
A huge dilemma is in front of me: is it time to disclose to my family?
S knew what was running through my mind. During lunch, he told me I needed someone to look after me while I was getting the blood transfusion. For that reason I have to contact my family. But, he told me that there is no need to disclose my status to my family. He told me that RITM staff respect their patient's privacy, and they do not disclose their patient's status to anyone, not even to relatives. During the time he was confined there, his family knows that he was receiving treatment for anemia, and nothing more.
This encouraged me to call my family and tell them I might be getting a blood transfusion. But I told them prematurely. They were already preparing to go to RITM to bring my things, when the doctor came in after the lunch break. He told me that if I was feeling better, and I had no signs of anemia (such as shortness of breath, exhaustion, etc.), then I don't need a blood transfusion. Yet. He told me that I need to do another CBC for the next week and see if my hemoglobin count has improved or not.
So it was a false alarm after all! Of course I was happy, and S and the rest of the RITM staff were happy. But I feel bad for having given my family something to worry about. In the first place, that's the reason why I've kept my condition a secret from them all along: I don't want them to worry about me.
So I called my family and told them not to go to RITM anymore. My mom told me she will put ampalaya and chicken liver in the menu. It seems to me they're relieved that I'm not getting a blood transfusion anymore.
So I went home like nothing happened. Today, I had adobong atay ng manok with kamote sprouts for lunch, and had ginisang ampalaya for dinner.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
The big news.
I left the testing center with questions unanswered. If I was negative, what caused my illness a few weeks ago. I was unconvinced about the result, and I was bent on taking another test after the three month window period has lapsed.
So, in the weeks that followed, I tried living a normal life. Only that, life didn't seem normal anymore.
As days passed, more symptoms presented themselves. I had recurring sore throat, I had oral infections, I had sweaty (as in dripping wet sweaty) nights, and lost a lot of weight (from 74kg before I was infected, I was 67kg in March). I was no stranger to the symptoms of HIV infection: I've read them all. And I am absolutely convinced I have been infected.
Last week of March, the three-month window period has lapsed. It was time for me to get another test. I've been planning about the test when by some eerie coincidence, I got a series of text messages and missed calls from the guy I had sex with in December. He was asking, "Kelan ka nagkasakit? (When did you get sick?)" When I was able to respond, he told me a disturbing news: his former sex partner tested positive and asked him to get tested. He said he's been crying a lot and was afraid. I consoled him and told him that we should get tested immediately the following day.
So we did. I went to Manila Social Hygiene Clinic, and he went to a private clinic in Makati. The doctor recognized me and asked, "Dati ka na di ba?". Haha. Yes, Doc. I reminded here that I got tested in January, I was non-reactive, but would like to undergo another test to confirm.
It was difficult to explain how I was feeling that day. The symptoms I experienced, the bareback sex, and the news about another guy testing positive: the signs were all too compelling for me to be too hopeful.
After the doctor came back with the result, the look on her worried face gave me broke the news to me even before she opened her mouth. And then she said it, "Reactive ka na."
Others would have cried after hearing that. Believe it or not, I felt a sign of relief -- I got confirmation of something that I already knew all along. It doesn't mean I didn't feel sad. I did. A little maybe.
The doctor later on told me that they will send my blood to San Lazaro for a confirmatory test and that it will take three weeks for the result to come in. I asked her what are the chances it will turn out false positive. She said the possibility is slim, because I was high risk.
I told the guy about my result. He said, his was the same. He said sorry. I told him no need to say sorry, we're both victims of this disease. I never felt anger. At the end of the day, it was also my fault for not properly protecting myself. He didn't force me to have bareback sex. I agreed to it.
So I went home, feeling a little lonely, with a lot of questions in my mind. What will happen to me? My career? My family? Will I die soon? Will I need to stop working? Should I tell my family? Who do I tell? Where do I find treatment?
I arrived home still confused, but I pretended to smile. I went to my room and slept.
The following day, I felt better. It's like waking up to a new life.
So, in the weeks that followed, I tried living a normal life. Only that, life didn't seem normal anymore.
As days passed, more symptoms presented themselves. I had recurring sore throat, I had oral infections, I had sweaty (as in dripping wet sweaty) nights, and lost a lot of weight (from 74kg before I was infected, I was 67kg in March). I was no stranger to the symptoms of HIV infection: I've read them all. And I am absolutely convinced I have been infected.
Last week of March, the three-month window period has lapsed. It was time for me to get another test. I've been planning about the test when by some eerie coincidence, I got a series of text messages and missed calls from the guy I had sex with in December. He was asking, "Kelan ka nagkasakit? (When did you get sick?)" When I was able to respond, he told me a disturbing news: his former sex partner tested positive and asked him to get tested. He said he's been crying a lot and was afraid. I consoled him and told him that we should get tested immediately the following day.
So we did. I went to Manila Social Hygiene Clinic, and he went to a private clinic in Makati. The doctor recognized me and asked, "Dati ka na di ba?". Haha. Yes, Doc. I reminded here that I got tested in January, I was non-reactive, but would like to undergo another test to confirm.
It was difficult to explain how I was feeling that day. The symptoms I experienced, the bareback sex, and the news about another guy testing positive: the signs were all too compelling for me to be too hopeful.
After the doctor came back with the result, the look on her worried face gave me broke the news to me even before she opened her mouth. And then she said it, "Reactive ka na."
Others would have cried after hearing that. Believe it or not, I felt a sign of relief -- I got confirmation of something that I already knew all along. It doesn't mean I didn't feel sad. I did. A little maybe.
The doctor later on told me that they will send my blood to San Lazaro for a confirmatory test and that it will take three weeks for the result to come in. I asked her what are the chances it will turn out false positive. She said the possibility is slim, because I was high risk.
I told the guy about my result. He said, his was the same. He said sorry. I told him no need to say sorry, we're both victims of this disease. I never felt anger. At the end of the day, it was also my fault for not properly protecting myself. He didn't force me to have bareback sex. I agreed to it.
So I went home, feeling a little lonely, with a lot of questions in my mind. What will happen to me? My career? My family? Will I die soon? Will I need to stop working? Should I tell my family? Who do I tell? Where do I find treatment?
I arrived home still confused, but I pretended to smile. I went to my room and slept.
The following day, I felt better. It's like waking up to a new life.
Friday, October 12, 2012
The signs.
Life went on as usual after that casual encounter. As it was nearing Christmas, I was busy. Everyday, there are activities going around to fill your day. I went out to dinner with friends almost every night. I accepted invitations to run a few rounds at a local university campus. I still went to the gym regularly, although I didn't see him in the days that went by. He wasn't a regular of that gym after all.
It has been ten days since that casual encounter. With everything going on around, I got a bit tired and needed to relax. So I went to a spa with a friend. After the massage, I went home and slept. The following morning, I woke up not feeling well. I'm having fever, and my body is aching all over. Had I stretched my body too much? I have been running three consecutive days before that, and been going to the gym regularly. I must be tired, and I feel tired. So I rested the whole day, hoping that I'd feel better in the afternoon. But the fever didn't go away.
I started taking ibuprofen and paracetamol for the the muscle pain and fever, but they didn't seem to work. The fever would go away for a while and come back again, and my muscles are sore. When my lymph nodes began to swell, I knew something was not right. I have an infection.
Five straight days I had non-stop fever, aching muscle, diarrhoea, sore throat and swollen lymph nodes. I've never been this sick before, and at the back of my mind I look back at that bare encounter and ask myself, could this be it?
After the fever has subsided I went to the doctor for a checkup. I wanted to know what was happening to me. Dengue fever was in season, and I was actually hoping that it's what I have. After a series of tests, my doctor couldn't tell. She just told me it could be flu that will go away on its own.
I did get better as the days passed. My muscles weren't sore anymore, and I had no more fever, but my lymph nodes were still swollen. I also developed rashes that looked like insect bites and when I showed it to my doctor, she said it's not how Dengue fever rashes looked like.
Since the doctor couldn't tell what my illness was, I decided to get an HIV test. I had it at the Manila Social Hygiene Clinic in Quiricada St., Manila, just in front of the San Lazaro Hospital. This isn't my first time to get tested so I wasn't afraid. I already knew the procedure and I knew what to expect. I knew that there will be a pre-extraction counselling, and post-extraction counselling. The doctor who talked to me was very motherly and she talked to me very casually. She made sure I felt comfortable. I talked about the casual encounter just a few weeks ago, and the illness I had after. She told me that the result might not be accurate this early after the last encounter, and she suggested I have another test after a three-month window period should I test negative.
After the pre-counselling session, she referred me to the lab to get my blood extracted. The lab was just one level below the counselling room, and it was over within a minute. So I went back to the counselling area and waited there. After fifteen minutes, the doctor called me and showed me the result: non-reactive.
There was a sigh of relief. But I knew I couldn't be certain until I had another test after the three month window period has passed.
On the way home, I called him up. I told him about the test and encouraged him to take it as well. He didn't take my suggestion well. He said, I was non-reactive, so why should he take it? He's not feeling sick after all.
Being the diplomatic person I was, I didn't force him to do it. So I went home, still uncertain, with so many questions in mind. But if there is one thing that I was certain of that day, I was certain that I was not HIV-positive, not yet.
It has been ten days since that casual encounter. With everything going on around, I got a bit tired and needed to relax. So I went to a spa with a friend. After the massage, I went home and slept. The following morning, I woke up not feeling well. I'm having fever, and my body is aching all over. Had I stretched my body too much? I have been running three consecutive days before that, and been going to the gym regularly. I must be tired, and I feel tired. So I rested the whole day, hoping that I'd feel better in the afternoon. But the fever didn't go away.
I started taking ibuprofen and paracetamol for the the muscle pain and fever, but they didn't seem to work. The fever would go away for a while and come back again, and my muscles are sore. When my lymph nodes began to swell, I knew something was not right. I have an infection.
Five straight days I had non-stop fever, aching muscle, diarrhoea, sore throat and swollen lymph nodes. I've never been this sick before, and at the back of my mind I look back at that bare encounter and ask myself, could this be it?
After the fever has subsided I went to the doctor for a checkup. I wanted to know what was happening to me. Dengue fever was in season, and I was actually hoping that it's what I have. After a series of tests, my doctor couldn't tell. She just told me it could be flu that will go away on its own.
I did get better as the days passed. My muscles weren't sore anymore, and I had no more fever, but my lymph nodes were still swollen. I also developed rashes that looked like insect bites and when I showed it to my doctor, she said it's not how Dengue fever rashes looked like.
Since the doctor couldn't tell what my illness was, I decided to get an HIV test. I had it at the Manila Social Hygiene Clinic in Quiricada St., Manila, just in front of the San Lazaro Hospital. This isn't my first time to get tested so I wasn't afraid. I already knew the procedure and I knew what to expect. I knew that there will be a pre-extraction counselling, and post-extraction counselling. The doctor who talked to me was very motherly and she talked to me very casually. She made sure I felt comfortable. I talked about the casual encounter just a few weeks ago, and the illness I had after. She told me that the result might not be accurate this early after the last encounter, and she suggested I have another test after a three-month window period should I test negative.
After the pre-counselling session, she referred me to the lab to get my blood extracted. The lab was just one level below the counselling room, and it was over within a minute. So I went back to the counselling area and waited there. After fifteen minutes, the doctor called me and showed me the result: non-reactive.
There was a sigh of relief. But I knew I couldn't be certain until I had another test after the three month window period has passed.
On the way home, I called him up. I told him about the test and encouraged him to take it as well. He didn't take my suggestion well. He said, I was non-reactive, so why should he take it? He's not feeling sick after all.
Being the diplomatic person I was, I didn't force him to do it. So I went home, still uncertain, with so many questions in mind. But if there is one thing that I was certain of that day, I was certain that I was not HIV-positive, not yet.
Monday, October 8, 2012
How it all started.
I've been receiving the same messages in Planet Romeo about how I got this. Please allow me to tell you a story that all started at the gym...
I am a gym junkie, at least I was. I go to one of the big gym chains in Metro Manila. I am not hardcore, and I don't have bulging muscles, but I workout almost everyday, and I've built my body just enough to get noticed.
I usually workout in the late afternoons to early evenings for about an hour and a half, hit the sauna for 5-10 minutes, take a shower and go home. That's my routine. But...
As gay gym-goers know, the gym is a huge cruising place. Cruising starts at the training area and ends in the sauna. I am no stranger to that, and I get hit on a few times (okay, more than a few times). I am usually inattentive to flirtations, unless you actually get my attention. I've had my fair share of gym encounters. I am human after all and I fall to temptations.
One day, near the end of my workout I noticed this guy entering the gym. I've already talked to this guy once before in the sauna. Back then, I already knew he was trying to flirt with me. But nothing happened, I guess I wasn't in the mood. So we said our casual hi's and hello's and I continued with my workout. I saw him get started with his workout, but since I was almost done when he arrived, I hit the locker room not long after and hit the sauna. I was just getting comfy in the sauna alone, when unsurprisingly he enters and joined me. We had a decent chat, and nothing untoward happened, so I entertained him. We actually had a good chat, so good that when he invited me out for a drink, I said yes.
We went to a restaurant serving beer just near the gym. There we continued to talk about stuff, and drank some more, and talked again, and drank some more until we were drunk and we were talking about sex. Past midnight, I told him I can't drink anymore and call it a night and he asked if I can go home drunk. (Ah... I knew where that line was going...) Then he politely asked if he can bring me to a hotel just a walking distance from the restaurant where I can rest until I'm sober enough to go home. (Yeah right...). I knew it was coming, I couldn't go home anyways, so I agreed. And I'll be honest, I was horny that night as well, so the possibility of having sex is more than welcome.
So we checked in, took a shower, and hit the bed in our undergarments. A few minutes later, we started feeling each other. Then passionately kissing each other. And we went further... unprotected, unsafe. All my reservations, gone, thanks to a few bottles of beer.
I went home the following morning. We kept in touch through text and I went on with daily routine. Everything was normal until the 11th day.
(To be continued.)
I am a gym junkie, at least I was. I go to one of the big gym chains in Metro Manila. I am not hardcore, and I don't have bulging muscles, but I workout almost everyday, and I've built my body just enough to get noticed.
I usually workout in the late afternoons to early evenings for about an hour and a half, hit the sauna for 5-10 minutes, take a shower and go home. That's my routine. But...
As gay gym-goers know, the gym is a huge cruising place. Cruising starts at the training area and ends in the sauna. I am no stranger to that, and I get hit on a few times (okay, more than a few times). I am usually inattentive to flirtations, unless you actually get my attention. I've had my fair share of gym encounters. I am human after all and I fall to temptations.
One day, near the end of my workout I noticed this guy entering the gym. I've already talked to this guy once before in the sauna. Back then, I already knew he was trying to flirt with me. But nothing happened, I guess I wasn't in the mood. So we said our casual hi's and hello's and I continued with my workout. I saw him get started with his workout, but since I was almost done when he arrived, I hit the locker room not long after and hit the sauna. I was just getting comfy in the sauna alone, when unsurprisingly he enters and joined me. We had a decent chat, and nothing untoward happened, so I entertained him. We actually had a good chat, so good that when he invited me out for a drink, I said yes.
We went to a restaurant serving beer just near the gym. There we continued to talk about stuff, and drank some more, and talked again, and drank some more until we were drunk and we were talking about sex. Past midnight, I told him I can't drink anymore and call it a night and he asked if I can go home drunk. (Ah... I knew where that line was going...) Then he politely asked if he can bring me to a hotel just a walking distance from the restaurant where I can rest until I'm sober enough to go home. (Yeah right...). I knew it was coming, I couldn't go home anyways, so I agreed. And I'll be honest, I was horny that night as well, so the possibility of having sex is more than welcome.
So we checked in, took a shower, and hit the bed in our undergarments. A few minutes later, we started feeling each other. Then passionately kissing each other. And we went further... unprotected, unsafe. All my reservations, gone, thanks to a few bottles of beer.
I went home the following morning. We kept in touch through text and I went on with daily routine. Everything was normal until the 11th day.
(To be continued.)
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Tingling shingles.
So I was at RITM yesterday, and it's confirmed that I have Herpes Zoster or 'Shingles'.
Herpes Zoster is caused by the varicella zoster virus, the same virus that causes chicken pox. After talking to doctors and doing my own research, I learned that after chicken pox is healed, the virus is never fully eliminated from the body. It hides in nerve cells and enters a latent state, and only reactivates when the person is immunocompromised, such as when taking immune suppressants, going through psychological stress, or when having immune system disorders like HIV.
Since the virus is the same as chicken pox, it is contagious to those who never had chicken pox before, or to those whose immune systems are compromised (if you have shingles, stay away from children, pregnant women, elderly persons, or any persons with weak immune system.) Shingles cannot be transferred to persons with a healthy immune sytem who already have had chicken pox before.
According to doctors, it takes 2-3 weeks for shingle blisters to heal. But the pain could remain for up to six months.
Wikipedia - Herpes Zoster
Herpes Zoster is caused by the varicella zoster virus, the same virus that causes chicken pox. After talking to doctors and doing my own research, I learned that after chicken pox is healed, the virus is never fully eliminated from the body. It hides in nerve cells and enters a latent state, and only reactivates when the person is immunocompromised, such as when taking immune suppressants, going through psychological stress, or when having immune system disorders like HIV.
Since the virus is the same as chicken pox, it is contagious to those who never had chicken pox before, or to those whose immune systems are compromised (if you have shingles, stay away from children, pregnant women, elderly persons, or any persons with weak immune system.) Shingles cannot be transferred to persons with a healthy immune sytem who already have had chicken pox before.
According to doctors, it takes 2-3 weeks for shingle blisters to heal. But the pain could remain for up to six months.
Wikipedia - Herpes Zoster
Friday, October 5, 2012
I'm back!
I was meaning to start this blog months ago to give a detailed account of how I'm coping with HIV. Unfortunately due to time constraints, I haven't had the time to update this blog.
Anyway, The reason why I have time now is because I took time off from work, which needless to say caused me undue stress. I shouldn't have forced myself to go back in the first place! Now my body feels tired all the time, I have rashes that might be herpes zoster or drug allergy, and I might be suffering from anemia.
I'm seeing the doctor today. I promise I'll follow every instruction to the dot.
Anyway, The reason why I have time now is because I took time off from work, which needless to say caused me undue stress. I shouldn't have forced myself to go back in the first place! Now my body feels tired all the time, I have rashes that might be herpes zoster or drug allergy, and I might be suffering from anemia.
I'm seeing the doctor today. I promise I'll follow every instruction to the dot.
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